I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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