WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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