im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
