i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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