He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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