How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
