All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
