so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
