Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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