just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
