Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
