Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
