On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
