i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
