it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
