I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's just like the Real World with babies
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
