Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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