Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
