Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
