I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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