i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
