Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
