All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
