Already got asked if we're dating
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
