Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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