what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
