Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
