Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize