Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize