Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
