My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
