And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize