i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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