is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
