Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
