my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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