This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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