I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we made out on top of his cat.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
