Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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