i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
