A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
