You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
