we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
