What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize