I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
