I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
