some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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