The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
