How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
