So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
