This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
