Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
