did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
