the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
