weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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