just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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