maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
